I Identify As…….

My passion is identity. So imagine my angst when I see casual explanations of identity by simply using the words, “I identify as …….” and fill in the blank with male, female, dog, cat, black, white, brown, adult, child, muslim, christian etc …. the options are endless.

It is what happens when freedom of choice takes a rabbit trail ride  into permissiveness and goes awry.

God created us with free will. His purpose was for us to choose right from wrong, God from self, truth from lies. He didn’t want to manipulate us into the things he created for us as He knew that when we choose love, good, righteousness, it makes a difference. If it was in us automatically, it would not have value.

Choosing to identify with whatever suits your fancy or feelings at any given moment is an assault on that precious gift He gave us. We forget that He gave us free will while also laying out a foundation of righteousness. The two trees in the garden symbolize that foundation. The only way to know if you are making good choices is to know what a bad choice is. A bad choice was when Adam and Eve ate of the fruit of the garden that was forbidden. As soon as they did it, they knew it. They felt shame. When you directly go against design and truth, you know it. You can’t blame God saying, “You didn’t tell me”. He did. You disobeyed and there are consequences.

I wonder if the trend of the day to support any identity that feels right at the moment is a result of those same people, sometimes children, not being told what the good fruit was so they could know that the choice they are making is contrary to God’s design.

When we are born, we are identified as male or female. Our genitalia makes that decision. What doctor would agree to treat a child as “we are letting her/him decide what he/she wants to identify as”. Is this the demise of even our language use of the words her/him and he/she? Knowing who we are is tantamount to being comfortable and secure in living life to its fullest.

It is concerning to me that God’s design is taking a back seat to feelings and impulses. While I recognize there is a legitimate belief by those declaring their identity that they truly are who they say they are, it is deception. And when we agree with it and let it replace truth, we too are deceived.

Is there such a thing as too much freedom of choice too soon? Are we as adults and parents making a mistake by embracing the choice as more important than the  beautiful design God created them to be? Do we even offer that alternative? I think we need to . Everyone benefits from choice.  It is universally true that male genitalia is quite different from female, and consequently one is male and the other is female. That is a fact, irrefutable. No matter what you put on that piece of paper, you are not “other” … you are male or female based on your body parts, a precious creation of God.

When Johnny comes home one day and says he wants to put on a dress because he wants to be a girl, we have an obligation to be sure he has other options. I can’t imagine many parents are responding to that with glee and excitement in the context that Johnny is “finding his true identity”. Perhaps Johnny is testing the boundaries of life and is looking for direction. The same way he tested his boundaries by running into a busy street, or hitting his sister. Perhaps someone at school had done this, and he wanted to know if it was acceptable. Kids often start smoking and doing drugs because someone at school was doing it.

If we started from the premise that Johnny is a boy until proven otherwise, wouldn’t the direction we take be toward helping Johnny accept his gender? To learn how to live within the perameters of society and go into the correct bathroom? At least give them a good start, allowing for choice when they are 18 and have enough maturity to choose.

You have to start with what IS true in order to decide what to believe is true. Truth and belief are two different concepts. There is one truth. Whether or not we choose to believe it depends on our experience and teaching in life among other things. Free will is part of the process of choosing to believe the truth.

If that foundation of what IS true is missing or lacking, all choices are deemed good. There is no wrong choice. There is only your choice. That works fine when it comes to food and clothing choices, but when what we choose will affect the people in our world, it has to be looked at more carefully. I am happy to let you believe a lie, I just don’t have to allow you to cause my world disruption because of it. If my child is screaming at me “I hate you” and having a temper tantrum, that is his choice, but I don’t have to engage in it and say it is fine. Wisdom says to separate from this display of opposition i.e. go to your room until you come to your senses. But we are afraid to do this when it comes to gender identity and sexual preference. Our society is being asked to see these alternative choices as normal.

No. Normal is not allowing a child with male genitalia to shower in a girl’s gym. What about the freedom of those girls? What about their choices to be happy they are girls?

We forget that the greatest guidance we can get is in the home before we even go to school. We honor the son or daughter, each with their own uniqueness and specialness. Each have a particular role and characteristic, and we all carry a little of male and female DNA. Remember, Adam was both at first. God didn’t create another body from dust, he created another person from Adam’s side, taking his “womb” to create the “wom-an”.  There was a reason God did that. He created man and woman to be “one”. That is what is natural and true.

Corruption and imperfection happen. Yes. We live in an imperfect world. God gives us what we need to overcome the imperfections. Lets celebrate our uniqueness and identify as God’s perfect creation, and let Him show us how to live in the imperfection. There is apparently a genetic predisposition to addiction but we don’t see society making room for addicts because they identify as such. There may be a genetic disposition to homosexuality, yet I have seen many  live out their lives in healthy marriages because they choose to embrace the way God meant them to be. And when pre-pubescent boys start to wonder about their sex drive, it is normal. But it is not meant to make them question their identity as a male. It is meant to be a learning process and a time to validate who they were created to be. Being content with who you are and were created to be makes for a life with a future and a hope. I want that for all mankind.

Please hear me. My heart bleeds for those who are confused and believing themselves to be something contradictory to what their body dictates. I feel that way about children born with missing parts, or twisted parts as well.  I want them healed and able to function normally. I pray for a restorative miracle that would restore them to the way they were created. I want them integrated into society. I want to celebrate their uniqueness and surround them with love and validation. That is healthy and Godly. And I am sorry if that has not been offered as an alternative.

At the same time, I will not stand by and watch those who feel confident and secure in their God-given gender to have to step aside from their truth in order to accomodate someone else’s idea of truth.

We are all special and deserving of that respect for who we are.  God’s love has no filter; he loves all of His creation. He was very intentional in His creation. He knew that free will would get his creation in trouble at times. That is why He made a way back to wholeness through Jesus Christ.

We are not stuck in our imperfection. There is a way out. And while we may not reach the fullness of who we were created to be this side of heaven, God is forever in heaven displaying his miraculous power to those who ask. Maybe we are not asking for the redemption we seek. Society does not hold our redemption. Only God has that power.







Just as you don’t go to the doctor and find out you are pregnant out of wedlock and not be counseled on your choices.






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