As We Forgive

Our Father who art in Heaven; hallowed be thy name

Thy Kingdom come; Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses,

As we forgive those who trespass against us…..  BAM!

There I was again. Coming up against that mandate that felt so wrong and so confusing. I had prayed the Lord’s prayer so many times from childhood until now and ignored that phrase consistently. Now I needed to know. Is Jesus saying forgiveness is conditional? He forgives us as we forgive others?

I thought He died on the cross to forgive all sin. Period. So no matter what we do or fail to do, we are forgiven. So why is He blurring the situation with this little requirement…. as you forgive, I will forgive.   You mean if I don’t forgive, my forgiveness is taken away? I have spent many years in denial of this part of the Lord’s prayer and finally had to face it head on.

What do you mean Jesus? If I could forgive, I certainly didn’t need you dying on the cross to get me forgiven. And isn’t it your job to forgive, not mine? You have seen the atrocities caused by some people here on earth. Only God could forgive those. What do I have to do with this equation? what is missing in my understanding?

A lot apparently. I only had to look at my own life to realize how hard I had struggled to forgive and what a toll it played on my peace of mind. Staying angry and not forgiving was so much easier, or so it seemed.

God’s forgiveness of me is an absolute. And it is an absolute that He forgave all of my offenders as well. Completely. Without a second thought. Yes, even ISIS and Hitler and my father! All forgiven. Absolutely.

It was my belief that was the problem. I needed a lens change. God didn’t forgive me just for me. He forgave me so that I would be an instrument of forgiveness. When we fail to forgive, we are diminishing our forgiveness and making our hearts irreconcilable to God. We need repentance and forgiveness to be reconciled… with God, not man.

God always stands in the position of the Forgiver. Even when His beloved Israel played the harlot, He was joyfully waiting to release forgiveness to her when she repented.

Like salvation, we have been forgiven, we are forgiven and we will be forgiven. That is what eternity is about. Forgiveness remains always just as our salvation does.

It is the condition of our hearts that God is concerned with. “Whatsoever you do to the least of my brethren, you do to me.” When I don’t forgive others, I am rejecting the forgiveness I have received. It is as if i was not forgiven. Nothing is unforgivable because of Jesus.

When I hold something against another with lack of forgiveness I am putting myself in God’s place. He said they are forgiven. I say they are unforgivable. It is not for me to decide whether someone is forgivable. And if they are forgivable, then forgiveness needs to follow.

Where we get stuck is in our feelings. We don’t feel like forgiving. We are hurt, wounded, angry. Letting go of the hurt is different than forgiving. Choosing to forgive gets the ball rolling.

I have worked with many wounded women, subjected to sexual and physical abuse, who are being told they must forgive their abusers. “Forgive that? Did you see what they did? Why would I forgive HIM?” they cry. That level of anger and hurt may take more time to release. And sometimes it means coming into agreement with our own forgiveness during the incident. Sometimes we aren’t even forgiving our own part in the experience.

That doesn’t change a thing. Our forgiveness, the abuser’s forgiveness, is a finished issue. It is the truth that sets us free.

Choosing forgiveness does not always start out with feeling like forgiving. It starts with obedience. It’s a choice. The rest will follow. Feelings often follow actions. At some point the ability to let go of the pain and the person who caused it happens and we no longer find ourselves reacting so strongly to the memory.

At the moment of choice, we can again look at God and remember our own forgiveness. God can then begin the work in our heart that is required to make the exchange complete. Demanding that we can’t forgive shuts the door to our experiencing and remembering the fullness of our own forgiveness. It is as if suddenly we are also unforgiven.

Forgiveness means letting God deal with it. It doesn’t mean we have to have a chummy relationship with the person, or even be in their presence. It means we are free, because Jesus took it all upon himself. He never meant for you to carry that hurt and pain, because he took it to the cross already.

There came a point where I realized I had not fully accepted and received the fullness of the forgiveness bought for me on Calvary. I had all the markers of someone who had been forgiven… Jesus was invited into my heart and I had turned my life over to Him. But the depth of being forgiven for everything past, present and future was yet to be experienced. And only then could I allow others to be forgiven in the same way. What a relief when I finally came face to face with the work of the cross. Tears of gratitude swept over me and my whole life was drenched in forgiveness. And at that moment I could release my hold over others and let God forgive them through me.

Finally,  I could finish the words of the Lord’s prayer.

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. 

Amen

 

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