There are a lot of wounded children in my community. Many of you are way past childhood in age, but carrying some deep wounds from childhood that seem to strangle you daily. Perhaps the person who caused the pain is in your family and you still have to interact with them at some point. Or they died and there is no hope of reconciliation. It is tough. Especially if the perpetrator has changed, made amends and gone on to make a good life for themselves. They gave up drinking and drugs, maybe got some good counseling and anger management classes and took responsibilit y for their lives.
But what about you? You are still left with the leftovers, the broken pieces, the hurts that cause your days to be full of pain and out of control emotions. They said they were sorry, and they are doing well. And you are not. And they no longer care. No one is available to fix your feelings or feel sorry for you. In fact, people are actually walking away from you as you scream, “but it wasn’t my fault!”
No it wasn’t. And it is now your responsibility to clean up yourself. I know, it seems so unfair. “I didn’t do this, now I have to fix it? How is THAT fair?” screams the hurt child inside.
Well, when a drunk driver crashes into you on the road because he ran a red light, and your legs are broken in three places, it isn’t fair that they walked away unscathed and now you have to get healed and walk again. But there it is. Personal responsibility.
Personal responsibility is not popular today. Mistakes kids make are erased easily and they never have to rectify their mistakes. So when does personal responsibility kick in? When there’s no one left to rescue or fix your problem.
Jesus knows. If anyone was treated unfairly, it was Him. He was sinless, and yet crucified. Even Paul teaches in Galatians 6:5, each must carry their own load. God taught that we each have a part to play.
There is no magic here. It is an arduous journey to wholeness. It means embracing the pain. Forgiveness is the first step. Mom said she is sorry. Dad said he is sorry. Jesus says He is sorry. Forgiving may take a while, but it needs to happen for us to be truly free.
Now embrace the pain. Yes, embrace it. Don’t run from it, don’t wish it away, don’t drink it away, and stop blaming everyone else. The hurt is in you and only you can fix it. But Jesus is standing right there to partner with you. He doesn’t leave you in your pain alone. He says28, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11
Alone you will falter and struggle. Jesus made a way. It’s time to let Mom and Dad and the universe off the hook and find your peace with your past. There is a future waiting for you that far exceeds the past. Nothing you have experienced is wasted. It was redeemed on the cross when Jesus died for you and is being redeemed each day that you turn from looking at yourself to looking in the eyes of Jesus who loves you so. His love will make that fear easier to confront.
Take the first step. It’s a decision. “I take responsibility for my behavior and release all those who have hurt me from condemnation. I am ready to walk through my wholeness process. Jesus, help me.” Amen